(no subject)

[alt_zacharias]

Did anyone else read the Prophet today? I saw there was an interesting front-page article, but I couldn't get anyone to lend it to me at breakfast, so I had to wait and read the copy in the Hufflepuff common room. (And could whoever clipped one of the photos tell me what it says on page A2? Our copy's missing two paragraphs.) 

I guess some bloke's been writing up these really dead awful essays and calling them the 'Grim Truth.' And MLE are trying to get information about who's really writing them, because it's sure not that traitor Black, he's dead, inn't he? So they reckon it could be anyone hiding behind Black's name and just saying they're Black to make people think he's not really dead (which he is, of course). Only they're sure it's not really a pureblood, because some of the things these essays say, someone who grew up pure would never say, right? So they figure it's a mudblood or a halfblood trying to sound pure.

Some of the quotes are well classic, too:

 

 

Take no comfort that you are not yet dead: you are merely being fattened for the kill. And some of you have been given such charming gilded cages that you mistake them for pleasure palaces provided for your frolics--for your folly, more like. Do not be deceived: doom awaits us all.
 

That's well cheerful, isn't it? But I really like this bit:

What's grim and true--and no less grim for being true, nor any less true for being frankly grim--the Grim Truth frankly told without any of the mystifying fumes of frankincense that hide the bitter stench of foul, fudge-smirched filth....

I mean, try saying 'foul fudge-smirched filth' ten times really fast! It had me and Begy in stitches when we tried it! Of course, Begy thinks maybe this chap's just making fun of the originals, you know. But if it's meant to be a parody it's well standard, isn't it?

Anyway, I've a feeling the missing bit on the back of the photograph is another quote. If it's as hilarious as these we want to know!

 

Comments

[alt_blaise]

Who writes like that? 'Fumes of frankincense'? Please!

And why shouldn't we live in palaces when they're just standing empty waiting to be cleansed and put to someone's use? If it's a wizard, he's obviously not qualified for the repopulation programme. Sour grapes, I'd say.


And if it's not a wizard, I'd like to know what they're about, giving mudbloods parchment and letting them write nonsense like that.

[alt_zacharias]

Too right. But they did sound sort of like that, didn't they? I mean, I didn't read the real ones, except sometimes the blokes in the common room would read them aloud so we could all have a laugh. And he was always throwing little bits in that were supposed to sound like poetry. Like that last one he wrote: 'wave after wave of blue as if there's nothing you can do'. I mean it rhymes and everything! Mad.

His brother read poetry too, didn't he? Maybe that's the first sign of insanity. Parkinson would know, she writes verses. Reckon she'll go crackers too?

[alt_blaise]

You didn't read Black's stuff, but you can quote his poems?

Right.

[alt_zacharias]

I don't read them. It's like I said, Preece read parts of it aloud, for entertainment, you know, and that bit got sort of stuck in our heads because it was so ridiculous.

Anyway it looks like whoever's writing them now has the same sense of cheek.

[alt_pansy]

Nice, Smith.

Real nice.

I find it quite remarkable that you manage to pack in so many insulting things into four sentences. You are a callous and vile idiot with no taste or culture. I hope that if you ever lose someone that you are close to, that someone as equally vile will make a joke out of it just so you can know in some small part how incredibly awful you are.

[alt_zacharias]

Look, Parkinson, it's not my fault your 'friend' went crackers. Or that you let yourself care so much about a serial murderer.

Anyway, maybe next time you'll think twice before you start attaching yourself to misfits and weirdos. Oh - too late.

But I'd stop reading so much poetry if that's what it does to you.

[alt_pansy]

But it is your fault that you are an insensitive arse.

Go suck on a toad and leave me alone.

[alt_padma]

The article said they'd collected ten different essays so far! And they're all slightly different, but they can't have been written by a real pureblood. There are occasional references to muggle things. I dunno, I guess there's a whole team who spend their time analysing every word.

I bet Lana Sandoval knows all about what they're doing to catch the impostors, she's training to be an Auror and probably knows everyone working on the team.

[alt_blaise]

You know, I hope they ask her back to talk to the YPL. That'd be dead interesting to hear Sandoval tell what it's like, training with the Aurors.

[alt_padma]

That's a brill idea, Zabini! I don't know if they would, though, because we've already had Aurors come. But maybe if they come talk to the firsties she'd be one of the ones who comes and tells them how it is to train, and then maybe we could sit in if we liked.

[alt_lavender]

That's hilarious!

I'll have to see if someone in our common room will loan it to me for a laugh.

[alt_seamus]

It would be funnier if they'd caught the git who was writing it.

[alt_padma]

Well, if he keeps writing them they're bound to catch him eventually. Like they caught Black.

I heard Capper and Bobolis saying that MLE think it might actually be more than one person. But either way, they're obviously deluded. And bad writers as well!

[alt_blaise]

Oh, they will. And no mistake.

Won't be pretty to be him, then.